did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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