Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
