I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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