discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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