Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
