i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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