You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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