Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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