Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
