I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
