yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
