i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
