I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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