so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
