why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
MIDGETS
????
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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