You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
