I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
