So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
