i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Welp...herpes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
