You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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