Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
