What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
