some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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