I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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