9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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