I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
