This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
is wine microwaveable?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
