I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
