Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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