Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My feet surprised me
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