Little spoons don't ask big questions
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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