i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
