tell your sister to shave her snatch
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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