Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
