No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
