Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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