what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
