You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
