but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Found your dick twin last night
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
