Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
