remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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