Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
