Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
