Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
