Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
where are my pants?
in the oven.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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