hell yes lets make some ravioli
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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