Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
