The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
