i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
