I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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