I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
