there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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