Duck Duck Cougar?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
