i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
