it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
